Yesterday, I shared about this new space on Instagram with some trepidation.
I knew it might receive pushback. I hoped it wouldn’t, but I knew it was possible.
Coming out of the conservative Christian community has been tough, guys.
The thing is, I haven’t wanted to leave anyone. I honor and respect all of the relationships I have made in the past. I want to continue all of my past friendships.
But not everyone feels the same way I do. The messages I’ve received have been heart wrenching to me. The decisions I’ve made in my faith life have been hard enough without so much pushback.
In a way, I totally understand. I was vocal about conservative Christianity, and I know others took what I had to say to heart.
But if you think about it, what this boils down to is thoughts and opinions…why are we willing to be unkind to other people just because their thoughts don’t match our own?
Are we so entrenched in our own mind that we cannot conceive that others might change and grow?
It has made me want to curl into a ball and retreat. To stop sharing, stop posting, to stop being authentic.
This spiritual journey has been both amazing and terrifying. Both easy and hard. It’s a paradox which has almost broken me, and I’m to the point where I am only open to support.
I am being totally transparent here. While I wish what others say about my spiritual life doesn’t bother me, I am not there yet. I understand that it is a natural, egoic thing to be skeptical of those who are different. Perhaps since someone once identified with me, they now subconsciously feel like my beliefs and thoughts are a threat to them and the mental construct they have created in their own minds. I don’t know.
I am being mindful as I explore my spirituality. I am being cautious. My intuition is my guide as I continue on my path. This month I’ve been studying the concepts of the Universal Christ, Celtic Spirituality, pantheism, 1800’s era transcendentalism, and Quakerism. It has all been so interesting.
There have been many hills. Yesterday was a valley.
I understand this is a part of life. It will be okay, and I’m going to keep pressing forward. Please send positive thoughts and prayers my way. Negative energy is draining and dangerous, and let’s leave that behind.
This Sacred Life 